Are you Parenting Confidently?

 I'm going to share some wisdom and encouragement, I've learned over the last few months.

If you find yourself feeling like you are failing as a parent, it may be an invitation to look deeper into your own "stuff" ❤️

I've found when I struggle as a mom, trying to navigate challenges the right way, I feel as though my confidence gets shaken. Have you ever tried to lead without confidence? It certainly brings forth a new level of challenges.

I'd venture to say you are actually not failing as a parent, though parenting isn't for the faint of heart, there is a real necessity to learn how to lead well, and the hardest part, doing it with gentleness and love. 

We can sometimes take our kids behaviors as a direct assault against us, though this happens frequently, it's not productive to take your children's behaviors personally. 

We can remember they are children (yes, even the big ones who aren't quite adults yet, we call them adolescents, Lord help me, those years are unique, but not all bad 😉) 

Kids/adolescents/teens NEED our stability to anchor their instability. 

Yes, it's a hard generation to live right now, and I truly believe it is downright impossible to do it without guidance from God. His Word IS an instruction manual to everything that life throws at you! (If you haven't already, I'd suggest you start reading the book of Proverbs.)

There's no easy button, we have been lied to, struggles are expected and we can let them take us down to a pit of paralyzing despair (I've been there) or we can take it as an opportunity to take one baby step forward and gain momentum while God holds our hand.

This generation is going somewhere, I see God's hand in this and I encourage you to seek and learn His ways. They are 100% the right choice every time. 

❤️

"Believe"

 I'm drinking my morning "hug in a cup" (AKA Coffee) from a mug that has a whimsical horse on it and the word "Believe"

The mug I choose for the day is definitely a proclamation of my mood. 

Do your coffee cups speak your mind like mine do?

I have one that says "Live a Life of Purpose" it's simple natural tones; yet the bold white letters speak louder than the muted tones. It's one of my favorite cups, yet today, as we prepare to go look at a local horse property, I'm in the "dreamy" mood.

We are in the thick of researching a relocation. I've been dreaming of this for over 20 years, the dream hasn't silenced so I just keep praying that it falls together. At this point, I'm feeling some turmoil. Should we stay where we are or should we pursue a big move. So we continue to explore our options, by looking at local properties as well as planning future road trips to the locations I've researched. It's a tedius process when there is no "direction" driving the relocation. The dream has grown stronger and God has nudged us along over the years assuring me my prayers will be answered as I align my "wants" to His Will. 

I've been a little discouraged over the last year or so, we are within a few years of the "good timing window" (if there is such a thing) and the thought of uprooting my family for no good reason other than to follow a dream, seems...risky. My husband runs his business here, so we don't have the justified reason to move such as "work relocation" and it will take a lot of trust to take the leap to unknown territory. We've also visited multiple "possibilities" over the last year and none of them feel like "the one" to plant our roots.

The last few days, while working through my Bible study "NO OTHER GODS" by Kelly Minter, I have been reminded of the Israelites who left Egypt, wandering in the wilderness for 40 years and then started almost fantasizing about going back to where they started. Even though God's assurance that He would give them land flowing with milk and honey, there was still doubt. They wanted to go back to what was familiar, even though it was not good for them to be there. (The reference point for that particular study day is Numbers 13 and 14)

I have hope that if I keep praying and keeping "Believing" and keep "hoping" that the Lord will guide us directly into the path of His Will and that my dream is in close parallel to where we are called to serve. 

Process

 I’ve been saying “there is so much to process right now” as my response to so many things. 6 months in to Covid and so much has changed in our world. So much, on a scale of 1-100, I’d say our world is hovering around the 101 mark on the level of unfamiliar! 

Jump forward to a completely different direction and think about a long period of perseverance, “it’s a process” comes to mind.

Two completely different ideas; yet they are connected by one word; Perseverance. 

Something I didn’t think I had for many years. Being an impulsive sort of person doesn’t often leave the fruit of perseverance.

My heart is in a place of processing not what’s happening in the world (to be honest that can be overwhelming) but what’s happening on the level of my heart. 

So much is out of our control, yet, we can learn and grow from any circumstances and with God there alongside us, we know the outcome is promising. 

Process 

Perceptions and how not to Let them get you Down

 When you do things outside of the societal mold, be ready to be perceived differently. 

Perceptions will drive people’s opinions about you and if they don’t take the time to get to know you or your situation, their perceptions will be wrong and often hurtful. 

That’s not a reason not to be extraordinary, it is just an eye opening fact that you won’t be everyone’s cup of tea.

It can be hard to accept, but it’s a reality. 

Moral of the story; Battle against judging others. Take the time to understand those you are forming opinions about. ❤️

Unbreakable Spirit

 I was sitting outside with my son watching him and playing along as he "planted trees" and crashed his monster trucks and I started thinking about how the Spirit is in us. The same Spirit that battled against sin and won, is in us. "Our Helper". (John 14)

I know my writing focuses a lot on getting through hard times, and this post is no different. Times are hard right now, I want nothing more than to offer practical tools of encouragement to anyone who may be reading today. 

How do I encourage? Through sharing truth. It's hard sometimes to weed through the lies and what's true. Especially if you are listening to the news and all of the perceptions of what people think is happening on any given day.

What if you settle the noise outside and start settling on the Helper that is in you? 

I've read Scripture about what it's like to live "worldly" and it doesn't often end up very well. Yet, we all fall into it. Some times more frequently than other times, but no matter how Holy you think you are, there will be times (or certainly have been times in your past) when you have fallen "victim". You feel down and out, truly overwhelmed. What then? It's hard to climb out of those times isn't it? It can even feel hopeless.

Let's shift our mind to the Helper that is already inside of us, waiting to battle for us. Let me reword, He's already battling for us, yet we don't often notice. I tend to notice all of the work the Lord has done after the circumstance has passed. 

If we want to live in the victory of an unbreakable spirit, we need to realize how victorious we already are in Christ. This takes a lot of thought pattern habit breaking to do, but reading truth will help tremendously.

"What if....?" 

"Even then".

No matter what the end of your "What if" question is, Jesus, your Holy Spirit and Helper has got it. 

"Even then" 

If God is for us, who can be against us?

And then it hit me!

 I wrote this post in 2014; one of my favorite things to do is look back and recognize "full circle". This lightbulb moment I had then, it's still true today. God's Promises are unchanging, though our emotions do change, He is stable and faithful. 

July 25, 2014

Friends, it's been a while since I have been feeling led to write. Today, I have a message. I've been suffering inside. I've been feeling, discontent, sadness, loneliness, anxiety, stress overall, just miserable. I kept moving forward, day by day, keeping that smile on my face and my optimistic perspective, but deep down, it's been less than desirable. 

Things in life are getting in my way of happiness, or so that is the mask that I've been allowing myself to believe. Until today. I have some clarity. The enemy wants to pull people away from God. The closer you get to God, the harder the enemy tries to get between you and the TRUTH. Until this moment, I was allowing that to happen, through confusion and chaos, I was leaving a door wide open to allow darkness to come in and steal the relationship I have with the Lord. My guard is up again and I am holding on to my faith. It's a daily choice, lightness or darkness. I have found I can't let my guard down for even a second, because Jesus is the only way for me to see TRUTH in each day. A walk with the Lord is a faith filled walk, but it's a walk that must be committed to with the help of the Holy Spirit. 

"The enemy is like the weeds in a garden, if you don't tend to the flowers faithfully, the weeds sneak in and overtake the beauty of the garden. The weeds are always lurking and creeping, if they aren't uprooted they flourish and they overtake what's been planted. But, it's never too late! You can clear the weeds and the beauty of the garden comes back looking better than ever! Just like with God, every day is new." -Karrie Viscogliosi

You see, I wasn't always so close to God. I didn't work to build a relationship with God until well into my adult years. And, that's when my life changed. I was so enamored with a life that was filled with the Holy Spirit, which has been and continues to be such a blessing! As with everything else though, I go all in and my reality and logic gets cluttered when I am excited about something new and now, the realities of day to day living have once again snuck in. 

God is so good about holding my hand through this life and I am so thankful that no matter what I am feeling, I always have Him to lean on. He's been gently urging me to read my Bible and I humbly admit, I have ignored the gentle urges. The Bible has been the missing link. It has all of the answers I need, the answers I have been seeking from places outside of the Word, the Scripture, the Life Book. 

No wonder I've been missing a key piece of my happiness, I've been allowing life and all if it's hectic busyness to keep me away from The Word of God. His whispers have turned much more audible and honestly, I finally picked up that Holy Book. One night I wasn't able to sleep, I was filled with anxiety and I just needed some peace. I picked up my book. 

Once, a few years back, I was told, if you don't know where to start, when you read the Bible, start with getting to know Jesus. The books Matthew, Mark, Luke and John are a great place to start. So I have. 

God is always there for me, he always knows just what to say, and He always knows how to get that loud and clear message to me. I will hold on to that, and trust in the Lord with all of my heart, and with all of my soul and with all of my mind. (Proverbs 3:5)

Change

 I was a child who loved change; to the point where I was described as "fickle" by my best friend. 

The best example of my love for change was the state of my bedroom as a girl. As soon as I was strong enough, I would regularly move my furniture to different locations in my room. My parents didn't love the fact that I would move the wall hangings around too! There were holes all over the walls. I am laughing at the fact that I never used a hammer, but a pair of heels to hammer the nails in. I did things quite creatively or perhaps we can call it innovative! :)

The first night of my bed facing a different direction was always a challenge to fall asleep, but overall, it was thrilling to shift my "world" and I did it frequently! 

Looking back, I don't know who that was because I'm not a super fan of change right now at almost 40.

Some change is good, of course, but the way life has been, it seems no matter what you choose to go forward, there is more weight to that decision. 

We are currently facing a new school year. A new school year as a conclusion to the summer some of us may have thought would never end! Yet, here we are. Facing a new, yet familiar time of the calendar year. 

I've been reflective about how much has changed since early March, when life was different. 

"Pre-Covid Times". 

I look upon "Pre-Covid Times" fondly; even though our world was quite broken then, it felt "normal".

Now, we are looking at "normal" events, such as #backtoschool yet, there is a different feel. 

Some of the change over the months has been met with downright grief and disappointment. Some of the change over the months has turned out OK, even better than the old way. We hopefully can agree some good things have come out of the changes we are seeing in this world. 

So, this is my check in. 

How are you?

Are you having good days and bad days?

Maybe today is a bad day? I'm here for you. 

Maybe today is a good day? What gratitude comes from the good days!

Maybe today is a new endeavor? Always a little exciting, yet nervewracking!

Maybe you are going back to work; the work that you haven't been to since early March? Or maybe starting a new job? 

Maybe your kids are going to remote learning every day?

Maybe you are struggling to balance work and helping your kids with homework from various grade levels?

Maybe your kids are returning to school in person, while wearing a mask all day as staying distant from their friends? 

Maybe you are feeling the weight of all of the division going on?

Maybe you have lost a loved one and are working through the grief of that heartbreaking reality? 

Whatever the case is for today, I pray you see God. I pray you see His love and dedication to inviting us to lean into Him. I pray your heart is OK, that it's not hurting, and if it is, that you feel true mercy very soon. 

Peace be with you,
Karrie