Strong Shackles or Strong Freedom?

I've discussed the habitual thinking I've had over the years. Years of anxiety created years of bondage in my mind. This is a subtle and slow process, it doesn't happen overnight. It's just, what fear does. It boxes you in to the things you can't do.

As I was biking today, pulling my almost 3 year old in the trailer. I left with an open mind. We had plans to bike to a nearby farm (not near enough for my mind to grasp how I was going to tow him there and back) but I went anyway because the weather is absolutely gorgeous today and I wanted to really embrace the gift.

We got to the point in the commute, where I always reconsider my not so brilliant idea to bike to the farm. I was determined today to do this. We've been biking on and off all summer, we had enough water and we were on an adventure. But my mind was talking me down. "Why is the wind blowing against us" "This was a bad idea"

My mind is still apt to sneak in those "I can't do this" thoughts. But now, I've started stretching my hand out to the Lord every single time the burden of the situation begins to build.

Philippians 4:13 came to mind as I was praying "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength"

I was certainly not going to pull this off in my own strength. But God. God can most certainly get me there and back! He's traveling with me as I go, always inviting me to remember the mercy that ensues when my heart surrenders to trusting Him.

Then I began thinking about how hard headed I was as a child. I was headstrong and always seemed to have to have my way. I had a bit of a reputation for it, as my family likes to joke about still today.

I'm still hard headed, but God has refined this to a more pleasing image of fierce faith instead of anxious control. An authentic heart freedom.

There was an analogy that came to mind. A question:

Do I want to allow strong shackles of fearful and doubtful thoughts drive my actions? Or do I want to live in strong freedom knowing and believing that I serve a big God who cares for my little moments of fear?

That's the thing, they are little moments now. They still come, but they don't shackle me. In the past, I likely would have turned around and called it a day. But today, not only did we make it to the farm, but we went even a little further to the local ice cream shop! And back home.

God's strength. Not mine. God's glory alive in me and I'm just here to share.