Mundane Discontent

Not long ago, I was sitting in my role as "wife and mom" utterly discontent inside. Depressed. Feeling purposeless in the daily ins and outs of unrelenting life. All of it's demands weighed on me, and seeped out as persistent aches and pains that I despised.

I spent my entire childhood dreaming of the day I would be married with children, staying home with them. I had fantasy sized ideas of what it would look like, or simply, had NO IDEA what being a wife and mom actually entailed. Aside from watching my mom seamlessly care for the house, and the family, cook healthy meals every night and leave the house spotless before she went to bed. She was like a busy bee who just got everything done! How could I ever live up to that?

There's no way. I was not programmed to put anyone’s life before my own. Not at all. It did not come naturally to me, infact, my heart rebelled against it.

I was much more content doing my own things, when I wanted to do them, and guess what, I was pretty good at persuading people that my way was better...

I became a mom at the young age of 22. My now husband, and I were unmarried when our first was born. We "figured it out" as we went along. It wasn't pretty. We fought a lot. We allowed our very stubborn personalities (plural as in, I can't blame him because I was just as bad, if not worse at times)

Fast forward 16 years, (please don't do the math on my age) our oldest is driving, our second born just entered middle school and our youngest is a lovely but raging ”threenager " (well, he plays the part, but is actually still 2)

At a time in our lives when being rooted is a necessity to survive, I marvel at my thankfulness that God pursued me in my days of "doing it all myself" and ever so patiently weathered the storms who He Himself permitted in my life to get me where I am today.

I never even saw it coming.

As I sit today on this brisk, almost fall, Saturday morning, I'm pondering the word mundane and how we as mothers fill many roles. It looks slightly different in each household but a list of "typical" jobs include, bussing, laundry, time management, encouragement, giving love, middle of the night snuggles, feeding, early wake ups, and the list goes on. It can quite definitely feel mundane at times, because we tend to do the same tasks day in and day out to ensure the household runs smoothly. We are created and designed to nurture. Even if we don't see it in our make up just yet, it's there. It might be buried, you might believe it doesn't apply to you, but it's there. Our families depend on our ability to love and nurture them. So when the day(s) comes when your heart isn't quite joyful, remember we work today, for a better tomorrow. And as Lamentations 3 reminds me often "in spite of affliction; His mercies are new every morning".
So I rise and seek to love my family unceasingly. It's the little moments that make bigger impact in the home. It's not big lavish offerings, it's simply being an ear to listen and a hand to hold.

I've stopped dwelling on my endless to do list and even allowed some of those tasks to rest as we travel this season of seeking to be more present and less "rushed and regimented". What I see, is more peace in my own heart and the heart of my family members. Simply because by releasing control and allowing my family to see a healthier version of mom, I'm equipped to lead confidently and shine my light even brighter. It looks different for everyone, but God works the intimate details, and He does so brilliantly in a way that relieves our pressures to be perfect and moving constantly to encouraging us to strive for peace, when the groundwork is already present, it's just waiting to be revealed, when you are ready to have a positive change in your life.

If you are at a point where you are craving more peace, ask yourself these questions:

"How can I change my mundane to mercy today?"

Am I carrying the weight of something that is not mine to carry?

Am I allowing myself to have peace?

If you thought it wasn't possible to squeeze in a moment to breathe, it's definitely time to assess your days and maybe cross a few things off the to do list. When you have an extra minute, even if you have to hide out somewhere, take that time to collect your thoughts. If you have more than a minute, squeeze in something that brings you peace. I like biking and walking, so I try to build those into my day a few times per week.