Internal prejudice

I try to get out, to be around people.

Have you ever noticed how hard it is to live IN the world, but not be OF the world?

A daily battle. Facing long standing beliefs as they crumble all around you.

Local atmospheres are made up of diverse communities with eclectic interests, it's natural to begin to judge what's around you. Based on things you would do, and things you would not do.

As I spend more time with people, their stories come out. It's an honor to listen. Absorb the life they've lived up to this point. Every story reveals seasons of brokenness (which is normal) and stages of restoration, and most importantly, the endurance they've come out with or are still working through.

It's precious to be trusted with details they've perhaps held dear to them, an act of self preservation from the pain life sometimes causes.

I have stories as well. Things from the past that I've done, but would not do now.

Every day is a chance to grow. To grow in love, to grow in truth, to grow in knowledge.

Our world teaches us.

Our families and friends teach us.

But our Father still calls us to live not as the world lives. (Romans 12:2)

And also to love your neighbor as yourself. (Mark 12:31)

Which is interesting because the last time I checked, we don't choose our neighbors.

I will elaborate, we don't choose our neighbors, which means the command is comprehensive. Every situation. Every form of brokenness.

A little side confession. Something I'm not proud of.

I've had two very close loved ones tell me I've said things to them recently that made them feel bad about themselves.

I failed loving my neighbor. The two that told me their truth, they live under the same roof as me. My closest neighbors, ones I did choose, they informed me I was hurting them by my words, my beliefs about them.

Ouch. Truth that hurts; but is convicting and definitely motivates a change in how I speak to them.

My initial response was "no one can make you feel bad about yourself" which is true to an extent.

But, I did pause to think about how I'm presenting my words; perhaps they do need to be softened.

Perhaps my internal prejudice is a little harsh. A little (or a lot) overbearing, and not involving enough prayer and surrender.

I do judge, much to my dismay.  My prayer is to release that habit of thinking. It's not my role to judge another's action. It's a barrier between true, authentic friendship, one that is not welcome.

Not only am I judging others, but I'm judging myself. Which keeps me from being authentic with others. Yes, it's gotten better, Lord willing, I have a long way to go.

And then I remember;
Our Heavenly Father never fails at loving us. He is merciful and exemplifies grace and patience. And that is the model we can pray to follow. And it grows the more you seek, at a slow but steady pace and that's all anyone can really hope for. <3