I'm going through a period of really missing church. Yes, we've followed the "live" feeds every week from the comforts of home, but that is not the same.
We've even had the luxury of listening to worship on the go! It's not the same.
What is it about the building we call "church" that makes it so special?
Well, I'll start by saying, the Spirit comes where people gather. Prayers are heard, praise is sung. Truth is preached.
I've heard the argument that church is wherever God is, you don't need a building to worship.
After facing locked doors for over 100 days, I'd like to venture out and state, this argument couldn't be more wrong.
There is something about the building, God's House.
Sure, the people inside are sinners, but they go to this place to seek God. Where else can we go to seek God and have truth fed into our souls?
Some may say nature is church. Being a lover of nature, I really can't argue that the Holy Spirit is present in nature. God's Divine Creation is definitely worthy of our appreciation.
Whats missing when you aren't in the physical House of God?
Accountability. In church we gather as believers, seeking to praise God.
Repentance. The chance to openly confess sin and have a blessing over us that validates we are free from what we have confessed.
Soul Food. There is no other place I can go in and come out a better, more joyful version of myself. My soul is fed in God's House.
Fellowship. If you are like me, sometimes fellowship is hard. I tend to not quite fit in a lot of the time, but in church, there is an unspoken unity that helps my guards to fall away. When our voices come together in song, even if I haven't connected with anyone up to that moment, connection is there in our unified melodies.
The Word of God. Any good church has a lot of The Word. Gifted Pastors stand up to speak a message that is rich with truth. I crave truth. I read my Bible at home and work to understand the message, but there is something about hearing God's Word in God's House that really nourishes my faith seed from mustard size to fertilized!
What is church?
Church is a body of believers who seek to know God's character on a personal level. There are many faults with "organized religion" but that makes perfect sense because church is run by sinful humans.
If you do anything: pray for your church. If you don't belong to a church, pray for any church that's mission is to understand and apply God's Word to individual lives. Not just the Word that we agree with, but all of it. So help us God.
Wednesday, July 8, 2020
Tuesday, March 31, 2020
Feeling like Groundhog Day?
As a stay at home mom, I often feel like I am doing the same things every day. I will be honest and say, yes, it feels mundane at times, and yes, I get kind of tired of the same same same.
We are a few weeks into staying home. This life for many looks very different than it did before. I can't help but think, perhaps some of you may be feeling the same way. We've come face to face with the mundane.
When I write from the heart, I would like to make it clear, I am not complaining. My underlying feel is this is the life I have always dreamed of. Being a mom was the one thing I have wanted to be since as long as I can remember. I am blessed beyond measure to have three children and I marvel at them almost every day.
What no one tells you about is the incessant "needs" that arise leading a family. It can leave you feeling ill equipped for the job. What do we do with that feeling?
This is when gaining your footing; AKA perspective comes in.
I often am struck with the weight of my day when I am tackling laundry. Everything can be going well, until I face the laundry! There are many things that seem never ending. For me, it's laundry. What's your insurmountable task?
It's interesting, when you are facing something mindless that must get done almost everyday, you get time to think.
I think when I go for long walks as well, but that's something I enjoy!
What's even more interesting is the content of my thoughts when I am doing something I enjoy (like walking) vs. something I don't enjoy (like laundry). Both are essential but one brings joy and one takes much more self discipline to complete.
When I'm walking, I find gratitude comes incredibly easy. I am taking in the sights and enjoying the movement of my body and the time I get to just ponder.
When I'm doing laundry, I'm still spending time doing something, but my thoughts (when I'm not putting any effort into them) tend to be more negative. Less grateful, more bitter.
I call this perspective. Knowing this about myself, helps me in the long run. You see, I don't settle for negative thoughts ruling my mind, I have learned to allow them to pass through and then set them straight on truth.
Dark days tend to take more effort to set those thoughts straight, but ultimately, the choice comes in when you have to decide if you are going to sit in the negative or seek the positive.
I want to encourage you to pay attention to your thoughts. We have a lot of them each day! Let's make them quality thoughts.
Philippians 4:8 "Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."
We are a few weeks into staying home. This life for many looks very different than it did before. I can't help but think, perhaps some of you may be feeling the same way. We've come face to face with the mundane.
When I write from the heart, I would like to make it clear, I am not complaining. My underlying feel is this is the life I have always dreamed of. Being a mom was the one thing I have wanted to be since as long as I can remember. I am blessed beyond measure to have three children and I marvel at them almost every day.
What no one tells you about is the incessant "needs" that arise leading a family. It can leave you feeling ill equipped for the job. What do we do with that feeling?
This is when gaining your footing; AKA perspective comes in.
I often am struck with the weight of my day when I am tackling laundry. Everything can be going well, until I face the laundry! There are many things that seem never ending. For me, it's laundry. What's your insurmountable task?
It's interesting, when you are facing something mindless that must get done almost everyday, you get time to think.
I think when I go for long walks as well, but that's something I enjoy!
What's even more interesting is the content of my thoughts when I am doing something I enjoy (like walking) vs. something I don't enjoy (like laundry). Both are essential but one brings joy and one takes much more self discipline to complete.
When I'm walking, I find gratitude comes incredibly easy. I am taking in the sights and enjoying the movement of my body and the time I get to just ponder.
When I'm doing laundry, I'm still spending time doing something, but my thoughts (when I'm not putting any effort into them) tend to be more negative. Less grateful, more bitter.
I call this perspective. Knowing this about myself, helps me in the long run. You see, I don't settle for negative thoughts ruling my mind, I have learned to allow them to pass through and then set them straight on truth.
Dark days tend to take more effort to set those thoughts straight, but ultimately, the choice comes in when you have to decide if you are going to sit in the negative or seek the positive.
I want to encourage you to pay attention to your thoughts. We have a lot of them each day! Let's make them quality thoughts.
Philippians 4:8 "Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."
Thursday, March 19, 2020
A few words about Repentance
Good morning friends,
Let me open by saying “God works out of love and
faithfulness” He will stop at nothing to join us as we live our days. That’s His
call on each of our hearts, to draw near to Him in all circumstances and His
actions are Just, and overflowing with goodness and mercy.
With that said, we must open our eyes to what’s going on
around us. These days may be bringing some unsteady emotions. It may be scary,
it may be frustrating, whatever it is, it’s definitely changing how we spend
our time. I’ve spent some time reflecting on the fact that if this was even
just a few years ago, my peace about this storm would be radically different.
As you may know, anxiety was my overactive default for over 30 years. What anxiety
does is, it takes what’s happening around you and terrorizes your thoughts on
various levels. I have been there. I am speaking from the other side of it
though, anxiety no longer shackles me. God lifted me above those circumstances of
fear and I have no doubt that He can and will do the same for you. He works in
His perfect timing. Think of the coronavirus as a personal invitation to turn
towards God and away from all other distractions.
In my Thursday morning Bible Study, we are currently studying
the Kings in a book titled “Trustworthy” by Lysa Terkeurst. The Kings each
started with good intentions of leading well, but as more power was given, they
each fell away from God’s direction and into pride, even the “Best Kings” of that
day, had faults. Leading into the fact that humans play a part in God’s story
but the second we fall away from His direction and begin leaning into our own
actions and emotions, things fall apart. God is so faithful, He continues to
draw us back in and calls us to repentance. We can be so blind for so long and
then one day, God’s message pierces our heart. The epicenter of our soul. This
is the time to tune in to your epicenter friends! This is a time that God is
calling you personally, bodly, swiftly and faithfully. It’s amazing if you
think of the infinite scale in which God seamlessly goes to, to reach His
people, whom He Loves.
We are being called to repent, and to do so, with fear of the
Lord. (Fear in this context should be noted as “respect” and “surrender”)
Jesus said “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to
the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set
a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law
against her mother-in-law. And a person’s enemies will be those of his own
household. Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and
whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever
does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his
life will love it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”
Matthew 10:34-39
(A few notes on this Scripture from the NLT version of the “Life
Application Study Bible” are noted here: “Jesus was overwhelmed with compassionate pity
for the people. His response echoes the deep inner mercy of God, often
described in the Old Testament. Jesus came to be the Shepherd, the one who
could show people how to avoid pitfalls. Many people are ready to give their lives
to Christ if someone would show them how. Often when we pray for something, God
answers our prayers by using us.)
Our world is running rampant with “Idols”. Perhaps the idols
in your heart are not figures on an alter, but more so, actions like; chasing
the American Dream, the next dollar, your next cup of coffee? We are seeking
worldly fulfillment and allowing ourselves to be distracted from our Savior,
our Holy God, the Spirit that lives IN us. The time is upon us as a few have
claimed. Wrath, correction, sanctification is necessary and welcome. “Holy
Spirit purify and humble me so that I no longer grieve you” is the song in my
heart today.
What is all of this telling us? I believe it’s a call to
seek Him with our whole heart. A call to surrender. A call to cling to God and
to ask Him what in your life has grieved Him and what He’s asking you to share
with Him.
“Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves,
so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves. Beware of men, for they will
deliver you over to courts and flog you in their synogogues, and you will be dragged
before governors and kings for my sake, to bear witness before them and the Gentiles.
When they deliver you over, do not be anxious how you are to speak or what you
are to say, for what you are to say will be given to you in that hour. For it is
not you who speak, but the Sprit of your Father speaking through you.” Matthew
10:16-20 (“We must find a balance between wisdom and vulnerability to
accomplish God’s work.” “In times of persecution, we can be confident because
Jesus has “overcome the world” John 16:33 “Jesus is telling us not to stop preparing
but to stop worrying.” Life Application Study Bible)
Sin is standing between us and God. Jesus said “Repent, for
the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand.” Matthew 4:17 On the cross, Jesus won the
battle for us. We are called to turn our hearts to God and submit to Him in all
our ways. As I’ve learned, God directs each step and brings to mind the loving
conviction of what I have done in the past that can be dropped at the foot of
the cross.
Do not fear. See the bigger picture. See that God’s work is
GOOD and we can come before Him and humbly ask Him to cleanse us of ALL
unrighteousness. The Blood of the Lamb is waiting to wash over you and make you
New.
Oh what awaits when your soul is FREED.
Monday, December 30, 2019
One Word: 2020
Do you make New Year's Resolutions? I used to. Until I realized, I didn't have a strong "stick to it" attitude growing up, so I was one of those that would set resolutions and then fall away from them after a few weeks. It's hard to change isn't it? Especially when the effort is to try to change for the better.
We have deep rooted characteristics that are sometimes impossible to change. Some are good, some, as we know are not helpful to our groove. Bad habits...
I had a bad habit of doing what I wanted, to suit my own comfort levels.This bad habit, created many subtle habits and behaviors On the surface that isn't terrible, afterall, there's that saying "no one will take care of you, but you". We live in kind of a "survival mode" society. We all know someone who is just trying to get by, on auto drive. If we can get ourselves and our families moving in the right direction, then we are good right? We feel like we are winning at life.
Is that all there is to life though? Keeping up with the grind? Have you ever tried to go against the grind? Talk about a challenge!
I have a feeling I am not the only one suffering from living in this "every man for himself" society.
I hope I'm not alone when I say how lonely it is to live in a world where everyone is on auto pilot. It feels mechanical and cold and isolating. And if you look at the faces of those around you, you may be see the misery of their stress. It's hard to hide when we are in the thick of it.
It's everywhere too. At church, at family gatherings, in stores. Even in my own home (though I battle against it, we fall victim too).
We are looking at a new year ahead of us. A new year is a chance to look at your past and define what turning points you are going to grab hold of.
If you are like me and you struggle to stick with resolutions, I encourage you to look at it through a different lens. If you have a desire to make a change, seek a healthy solution. I'm a big fan of looking to God in prayer. I KNOW He's listening, I KNOW He answers prayers. So why not ask Him to help you change the things in your life that aren't quite making sense. If you are feeling the weight of our world, try praying for more peace. Try praying that God will open your eyes and your heart to thankfulness in the midst of your everyday. Try praying that He will surround you with people who seek His will and will fit the role of wise counsel. (That's my current prayer)
One thing I find to be doable, is choosing one word each year. A word to focus on and see where it leads me.
God gave me my word this year. It's not like that every year, but this year, it was a clear word, and I might add, it's not a word I use very often, which is why I find it so perfect.
I am magnifying the word "Examine" for 2020. I've been kind of pondering the word "Examine" for a few days, and then the validations came in. I was reading scripture the other day and fell upon Acts 17:11 "Now these Jews were more noble than those in Thessalonica; they received the word with all eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see if these things were so."
It's interesting because through this word, I also see the opportunity to dive into reading the Bible even more. I'm craving the Word, I'm craving TRUTH. I'm craving being a light in the social circles God has placed me in. "I can do all things through him who gives me strength" Philippians 4:13
Yesterday, in church, it was revealed to me how different my heart is now vs. when I was younger. When I was younger, doing things my own way, I was fine, or so I thought, but my soul was dehydrated by my flesh. I looked around me at the families I've been worshiping with and having fellowship with and I felt gratitude in knowing what wisdom looks like. I wasn't wise then and to be honest, I still don't have all the answers. But I have the resource with all the wisdom I could ever need, it's The Bible. I have it in my possession, free to read it anytime. It's full of insight and revelations and validation which builds my confidence in surrendering everything to Jesus, who saved me from myself. After communion, I wanted to read Ephesians 6, "The Armor of God." Instead my eye was pulled to Ephesians 4:17-24 (Verses 22-24 really hits home) "17Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds. 18They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart. 19They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity. 20But that is not the way you learned Christ! ---21assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, 22to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, 23and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness."
This gives new meaning to the "New Year; New You" saying. What's imperative to know is we can not change in our own strength. Changes occur on a heart level. So allowing your heart to be Examined by God and allowing Him to refine you, that is something to see. It's not simple, infact it's much more complicated than we can ever fathom. The intricate details of His work that's already in your life begins to become more clear and, in His Almighty Perfection, amazing things are happening. So, if you do anything this year, just let Him who is Holy work in you.
We have deep rooted characteristics that are sometimes impossible to change. Some are good, some, as we know are not helpful to our groove. Bad habits...
I had a bad habit of doing what I wanted, to suit my own comfort levels.This bad habit, created many subtle habits and behaviors On the surface that isn't terrible, afterall, there's that saying "no one will take care of you, but you". We live in kind of a "survival mode" society. We all know someone who is just trying to get by, on auto drive. If we can get ourselves and our families moving in the right direction, then we are good right? We feel like we are winning at life.
Is that all there is to life though? Keeping up with the grind? Have you ever tried to go against the grind? Talk about a challenge!
I have a feeling I am not the only one suffering from living in this "every man for himself" society.
I hope I'm not alone when I say how lonely it is to live in a world where everyone is on auto pilot. It feels mechanical and cold and isolating. And if you look at the faces of those around you, you may be see the misery of their stress. It's hard to hide when we are in the thick of it.
It's everywhere too. At church, at family gatherings, in stores. Even in my own home (though I battle against it, we fall victim too).
We are looking at a new year ahead of us. A new year is a chance to look at your past and define what turning points you are going to grab hold of.
If you are like me and you struggle to stick with resolutions, I encourage you to look at it through a different lens. If you have a desire to make a change, seek a healthy solution. I'm a big fan of looking to God in prayer. I KNOW He's listening, I KNOW He answers prayers. So why not ask Him to help you change the things in your life that aren't quite making sense. If you are feeling the weight of our world, try praying for more peace. Try praying that God will open your eyes and your heart to thankfulness in the midst of your everyday. Try praying that He will surround you with people who seek His will and will fit the role of wise counsel. (That's my current prayer)
One thing I find to be doable, is choosing one word each year. A word to focus on and see where it leads me.
God gave me my word this year. It's not like that every year, but this year, it was a clear word, and I might add, it's not a word I use very often, which is why I find it so perfect.
I am magnifying the word "Examine" for 2020. I've been kind of pondering the word "Examine" for a few days, and then the validations came in. I was reading scripture the other day and fell upon Acts 17:11 "Now these Jews were more noble than those in Thessalonica; they received the word with all eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see if these things were so."
It's interesting because through this word, I also see the opportunity to dive into reading the Bible even more. I'm craving the Word, I'm craving TRUTH. I'm craving being a light in the social circles God has placed me in. "I can do all things through him who gives me strength" Philippians 4:13
Yesterday, in church, it was revealed to me how different my heart is now vs. when I was younger. When I was younger, doing things my own way, I was fine, or so I thought, but my soul was dehydrated by my flesh. I looked around me at the families I've been worshiping with and having fellowship with and I felt gratitude in knowing what wisdom looks like. I wasn't wise then and to be honest, I still don't have all the answers. But I have the resource with all the wisdom I could ever need, it's The Bible. I have it in my possession, free to read it anytime. It's full of insight and revelations and validation which builds my confidence in surrendering everything to Jesus, who saved me from myself. After communion, I wanted to read Ephesians 6, "The Armor of God." Instead my eye was pulled to Ephesians 4:17-24 (Verses 22-24 really hits home) "17Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds. 18They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart. 19They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity. 20But that is not the way you learned Christ! ---21assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, 22to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, 23and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness."
This gives new meaning to the "New Year; New You" saying. What's imperative to know is we can not change in our own strength. Changes occur on a heart level. So allowing your heart to be Examined by God and allowing Him to refine you, that is something to see. It's not simple, infact it's much more complicated than we can ever fathom. The intricate details of His work that's already in your life begins to become more clear and, in His Almighty Perfection, amazing things are happening. So, if you do anything this year, just let Him who is Holy work in you.
Thursday, December 19, 2019
7 reasons not to worry...
My home has a lot of worry in it. If one person isn't worrying or stressed about something, someone else is going through emotions. We kind of all take turns being stressed. Sound familiar? It's neverending, so I turn to the Word to help me weather it while clinging to God and knowing He calls us not to worry, but what does that look like? With a long history of anxiety, worry feels like a part of my DNA!
Matthew 6 is rich with reassurance!
In my study bible, I found a great verse reference list titled "7 reasons not to worry"
I encourage you to use this list as a reference point and follow up with some study time on your own.
6:25......"The same God who created life in you can be trusted with the details of your life."
6:26......"worrying about the future hampers your efforts for today."
6:27..... "worrying is more harmful than helpful."
6:28-30......"God does not ignore those who depend on Him"
6:31, 32....."worrying shows a lack of faith in and understanding of God."
6:33......"worrying keeps us from real challenges God wants us to pursue."
6:34....."living one day at a time keeps us from being consumed with worry."
This list is tangible evidence of God's will. I don't know about you but sometimes I struggle with what battles God wants me all in on and what battles are not welcome in His will. My habits of worrying have brought more stress and unrest into my life and I see in my family, they struggle with the same. Anxiety is heavy, and very very common. Verses 31 and 32 get me in the heart. Even when I think I am faithful and gaining understanding about God, I still struggle with discerning His will and what to do as we "sit in the mess". What I do know is the here and now. What I know is the more I pray, the more I get to know God. The more I seek Him, the more He opens my heart to find more peace. The more I read and study the Word, the more life makes sense. The more I work to keep my heart open to God, the more I can let go of my worries.
It's a constant decision and there are countless opportunities for changes in the life of a busy mom. One step at a time. For today, I am going to soak up the 7 truths listed above and see where that takes us. More surrender, more peace.
Matthew 6 is rich with reassurance!
In my study bible, I found a great verse reference list titled "7 reasons not to worry"
I encourage you to use this list as a reference point and follow up with some study time on your own.
6:25......"The same God who created life in you can be trusted with the details of your life."
6:26......"worrying about the future hampers your efforts for today."
6:27..... "worrying is more harmful than helpful."
6:28-30......"God does not ignore those who depend on Him"
6:31, 32....."worrying shows a lack of faith in and understanding of God."
6:33......"worrying keeps us from real challenges God wants us to pursue."
6:34....."living one day at a time keeps us from being consumed with worry."
This list is tangible evidence of God's will. I don't know about you but sometimes I struggle with what battles God wants me all in on and what battles are not welcome in His will. My habits of worrying have brought more stress and unrest into my life and I see in my family, they struggle with the same. Anxiety is heavy, and very very common. Verses 31 and 32 get me in the heart. Even when I think I am faithful and gaining understanding about God, I still struggle with discerning His will and what to do as we "sit in the mess". What I do know is the here and now. What I know is the more I pray, the more I get to know God. The more I seek Him, the more He opens my heart to find more peace. The more I read and study the Word, the more life makes sense. The more I work to keep my heart open to God, the more I can let go of my worries.
It's a constant decision and there are countless opportunities for changes in the life of a busy mom. One step at a time. For today, I am going to soak up the 7 truths listed above and see where that takes us. More surrender, more peace.
Sunday, November 17, 2019
Walking aches
I have a consistent nagging at my heart.
My kids well being.
It's a big undertaking to raise a family.
I admit, it does consume me sometimes.
This is one of those times.
My oldest is a Junior in high school, my middle is a 6th grader at a new school and my youngest is in a parents morning out program as a newly turned 3 year old. Every time my kids are at school, I have to surrender them to the Lord.
We are in a season where the world isn't super kind to them. Being a new student is rough and I can't tell you how many times I've heard my son tell me he has no friends over the last few months. Breaks. My. Heart!
My daughter has established friendships, but it's been a rough few years as she works through a friendship that isn't the most healthy. Friendships change and she looks for people who enjoy what she enjoys. (She rides horses, anyone who's kid's ride horses know the strength of this passion. It's amazing in SO MANY WAYS, grows responsibility and leadership, but there is a sort of isolation that comes with the territory because you are primarily working with animals and it's not really a "team sport". Many kids her age "don't get it") I look at baby number 3 and think, "don't ever grow up my love!!" He's so sweet and innocent and "the world" hasn't gotten to him yet.
We are created to be unique: one-of-a-kind.
Middle school in particular isn't super kind to individuality.
My 6th grader is through and through one-of-a-kind. He's an old soul, very outgoing and happy go lucky. He's also sarcastic (sometimes at inappropriate times) he likes to rub elbows with adults who appreciate his humor. His peers though, aren't as encouraging and he's shut down as being "annoying". True honesty, I don't know many 11 year old boys who aren't annoying. God love 'em!!
I find it to be pretty normal, yet it's an ache we work through.
Walking aches. Aches over how my kids are treated. Aches over how my kids respond when I'm not there. Aches over how it is affecting their souls.
I try to balance loving them hard (since truly, aside from God, NO ONE can love them like their family can) and also giving them independence to spread their wings. It's agonizing for me. Can you relate?
Our oldest is at an age where she is mostly making her own decisions, I encourage her to live boldly, and remind her (in her perfectionist ways) that mistakes will happen and the art of a good apology is a necessary piece of life.
These seasons of learning and growing, are not easy. There is a lot of breaking of the heart and then our good Father in Heaven, shapes it back together to look more like Jesus. Sorrow, lament, it's honestly quite normal. I don't like it very much; it's vulnerable to share the shattered pieces of the heart, but I truly believe it holds a worthy spot in our story.
From sadness; compassion grows. From trials; perseverance grows. From struggles; wisdom grows.
I just pray from these battles they experience, their hearts remain steadfast in the Lord. That is truly the only way to survive living in this world. And there are times where they are distant from Him. I look back when I was their age and I certainly was distant from Him as well! I look at them and just cherish the gift they are.
.
.
.
I have to share what just happened. God is so good!
I "saved" this post to be published in the future. Closed my computer and started my devotion time.
If you've been reading my blog, the last post was about my just concluded study on Gideon. My small group and I have decided on our next study; "Trustworthy" by Lysa Terkeurst .
I literally just finished typing about my "walking aches" and picked up "Trustworthy" to start reading the introduction.
I'm going to quote a few paragraphs from the book, Lysa is describing a scene in her house that's under renovation and relating it to her heart.
"The demolition was not a sign of irreparable problems. It was a sign of intentional progress. But I couldn't say the same about the busted up places in my heart. Not right now. Not yet.
When I stood and looked in the mirror, my demolished heart wasn't quite as easy to see as the walls in my house. The brokenness certainly revealed things, but they weren't as easy to identify as pipes and wires. They were strange threads of fear, anxiety, shock, trauma, and distrust.
Distrust. There it was. The biggest of all the issues that resided beneath my surface. The ripping open and exposing of my heart had certainly revealed something I needed to see but didn't dare want to admit.
About me. About God. And about my utter lack of trust in Him."
Whoa. I hear you God.
I can't wait to read more of this study and listen to God as he mends my broken heart.
My kids well being.
It's a big undertaking to raise a family.
I admit, it does consume me sometimes.
This is one of those times.
My oldest is a Junior in high school, my middle is a 6th grader at a new school and my youngest is in a parents morning out program as a newly turned 3 year old. Every time my kids are at school, I have to surrender them to the Lord.
We are in a season where the world isn't super kind to them. Being a new student is rough and I can't tell you how many times I've heard my son tell me he has no friends over the last few months. Breaks. My. Heart!
My daughter has established friendships, but it's been a rough few years as she works through a friendship that isn't the most healthy. Friendships change and she looks for people who enjoy what she enjoys. (She rides horses, anyone who's kid's ride horses know the strength of this passion. It's amazing in SO MANY WAYS, grows responsibility and leadership, but there is a sort of isolation that comes with the territory because you are primarily working with animals and it's not really a "team sport". Many kids her age "don't get it") I look at baby number 3 and think, "don't ever grow up my love!!" He's so sweet and innocent and "the world" hasn't gotten to him yet.
We are created to be unique: one-of-a-kind.
Middle school in particular isn't super kind to individuality.
My 6th grader is through and through one-of-a-kind. He's an old soul, very outgoing and happy go lucky. He's also sarcastic (sometimes at inappropriate times) he likes to rub elbows with adults who appreciate his humor. His peers though, aren't as encouraging and he's shut down as being "annoying". True honesty, I don't know many 11 year old boys who aren't annoying. God love 'em!!
I find it to be pretty normal, yet it's an ache we work through.
Walking aches. Aches over how my kids are treated. Aches over how my kids respond when I'm not there. Aches over how it is affecting their souls.
I try to balance loving them hard (since truly, aside from God, NO ONE can love them like their family can) and also giving them independence to spread their wings. It's agonizing for me. Can you relate?
Our oldest is at an age where she is mostly making her own decisions, I encourage her to live boldly, and remind her (in her perfectionist ways) that mistakes will happen and the art of a good apology is a necessary piece of life.
These seasons of learning and growing, are not easy. There is a lot of breaking of the heart and then our good Father in Heaven, shapes it back together to look more like Jesus. Sorrow, lament, it's honestly quite normal. I don't like it very much; it's vulnerable to share the shattered pieces of the heart, but I truly believe it holds a worthy spot in our story.
From sadness; compassion grows. From trials; perseverance grows. From struggles; wisdom grows.
I just pray from these battles they experience, their hearts remain steadfast in the Lord. That is truly the only way to survive living in this world. And there are times where they are distant from Him. I look back when I was their age and I certainly was distant from Him as well! I look at them and just cherish the gift they are.
.
.
.
I have to share what just happened. God is so good!
I "saved" this post to be published in the future. Closed my computer and started my devotion time.
If you've been reading my blog, the last post was about my just concluded study on Gideon. My small group and I have decided on our next study; "Trustworthy" by Lysa Terkeurst .
I literally just finished typing about my "walking aches" and picked up "Trustworthy" to start reading the introduction.
I'm going to quote a few paragraphs from the book, Lysa is describing a scene in her house that's under renovation and relating it to her heart.
"The demolition was not a sign of irreparable problems. It was a sign of intentional progress. But I couldn't say the same about the busted up places in my heart. Not right now. Not yet.
When I stood and looked in the mirror, my demolished heart wasn't quite as easy to see as the walls in my house. The brokenness certainly revealed things, but they weren't as easy to identify as pipes and wires. They were strange threads of fear, anxiety, shock, trauma, and distrust.
Distrust. There it was. The biggest of all the issues that resided beneath my surface. The ripping open and exposing of my heart had certainly revealed something I needed to see but didn't dare want to admit.
About me. About God. And about my utter lack of trust in Him."
Whoa. I hear you God.
I can't wait to read more of this study and listen to God as he mends my broken heart.
Monday, November 11, 2019
Gideon: Your weakness. God's STRENGTH
I just completed the Gideon Bible Study by Priscilla Shirer. Have you done this study?
The group I lead on Thursdays, it's more of a fellowship group, with the backbone of a study or a book we choose to dig into deeper. Our purpose is to get together and be there for each other every week throughout the school year. This group means a lot to me, so I try to choose books that will really help us grow as individuals and as a group.
Gideon, particularly this study, was one I started with a different study group, but when I had baby number 3, I didn't quite get to finish it. It's been 3 years since baby number 3 was born and it's been calling my name for quite some time. Fun fact: we even named our cat Gideon when we brought him home a little over a year ago!
The book I ordered off of Amazon was a used book, so imagine this:
Person number 1 has the book and took a few notes in it here and there. Person number 2 (ME!) started it in 2016 and took some notes. Now, person number 2 (me; round 2) goes back to finish. There is so much that has changed in my perceptions of what these questions are really asking. And every time I see the writing from person number 1, I pray for them, whomever and where ever they are, they are covered in prayer. I find that to be pretty cool.
Gideon is an interesting character. Gideon is found by an angel with a message from God that he is going to deliver Israel from under the hand of Midian. Judges 6:7-12: "When they cried out to the Lord because of Midian, the Lord sent a prophet to the Israelites. He said, "This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: I brought you up out of slavery in Egypt. I rescued you from the Egyptians and from all who oppressed you. I drove out your enemies and gave you their land. I told you, 'I am the Lord your God. You must not worship the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you now live. ' But you have not listened to me."
Then the Angel of the Lord came and sat beneath the great tree at Ophrah, which belonged to Joash of the clan of Abiezer. Gideon son of Joash was threshing wheat at the bottom of the winepress to hide the grain from the Midianites. The angel of the Lord appeared to him and said, "Mighty hero, the Lord is with you!"
Gideon was quite apprehensive at first. Imagine being tucked away in your laundry room, working away at your daily "mundane" tasks and then all of a sudden; a call to battle! It seems impossible doesn't it?? Or atleast you may wonder if you are hearing that call and is it really for you??
Yet, God, chipped away at Gideon, he chipped away at the people he placed in line to help and from the looks of things, it would not end well, yet...spoiler alert... they had a victory! Full story can be found in the book of Judges 6-8.
This is a big accomplishment and yes, Gideon did let it go to his head a little bit, but ultimately, God's work was done.
Where does this leave us?
I will tell you where it left me.
I've wrestled with the questions :
"Am I fulfilling God's will as He's calling me to do, or am I putting my own spin on what I think I hear?"
"Am I doing what I do, to give God all of the glory, or am I doing what I do for accolades?"
These are not easy questions. My hope is that God gets all of the glory all of the time, but I am human and I know that even if I think God is getting all of the glory, there has to be a glimmer of pride growing deep down and I want to keep a handle on it. So I wrestle.
The way the study was outlined is truly brilliant. We learned facts about Gideon. Relate able facts. As we moved through, I could put myself in Gideon's "sandals" (as the author
, Priscilla words it). I also was able to look more deeply at the idols I carry in my life. I can honestly say I haven't built alters like the Israelites did, but I certainly have smaller scale idols. We all do and they put a wedge between our hearts and God's Will. Honestly, it's good to look at what's holding you captive and putting distance between you and God and then look at it and tear it down.
"Your weakness. God's STRENGTH" is really highlighted as we looked at the tools God gave Gideon to fight the Midianites and the small size of his army, in comparison with the opposing team. Do you ever feel that way? Like the tools you have just don't measure up? Does it discourage you? Do you trust God to work with whatever you have? I dance between the two on a fairly regular basis. It's good to have light brought to the facts in our days. Once we are aware of what we are working with, God is free in our lives to do what He does best!
I had a fantastic revelation yesterday when I finished the Gideon study and then it was solidified in church. I love when the pieces fall together and in true fashion of the purpose of this blog, I will share with you what that revelation was.
The Gideon study uses hashtags at the end of each day. Sort of a summary of what you learned in a hashtag. My hashtags yesterday were:
#God will (is) demonstrate His Strength THROUGH ME (Because He is IN ME)
#convertGoodIntentionsintoObedientActions.
This study gave me confidence in KNOWING God is IN ME and will work THROUGH ME to shine His light upon the world.
Do you ever wonder if what you have in you is enough to accomplish what you are being asked to do? I find that to be a road block for me sometimes. I know God is leading me, yet I don't yet have the confidence to believe He will carry me all the way through sometimes. It's this tangible surrender from control to freedom. So it's a good struggle, but I needed confirmation that God is already IN me, and this study broke that chain for me. If you know Christ and have given your life to Him, He LIVES IN YOU. It's true. Scripture backs it up, we have to keep reading and believing truth and then it just clicks one day. One regular, unassuming, mundane day, it clicks.
The group I lead on Thursdays, it's more of a fellowship group, with the backbone of a study or a book we choose to dig into deeper. Our purpose is to get together and be there for each other every week throughout the school year. This group means a lot to me, so I try to choose books that will really help us grow as individuals and as a group.
Gideon, particularly this study, was one I started with a different study group, but when I had baby number 3, I didn't quite get to finish it. It's been 3 years since baby number 3 was born and it's been calling my name for quite some time. Fun fact: we even named our cat Gideon when we brought him home a little over a year ago!
The book I ordered off of Amazon was a used book, so imagine this:
Person number 1 has the book and took a few notes in it here and there. Person number 2 (ME!) started it in 2016 and took some notes. Now, person number 2 (me; round 2) goes back to finish. There is so much that has changed in my perceptions of what these questions are really asking. And every time I see the writing from person number 1, I pray for them, whomever and where ever they are, they are covered in prayer. I find that to be pretty cool.
Gideon is an interesting character. Gideon is found by an angel with a message from God that he is going to deliver Israel from under the hand of Midian. Judges 6:7-12: "When they cried out to the Lord because of Midian, the Lord sent a prophet to the Israelites. He said, "This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: I brought you up out of slavery in Egypt. I rescued you from the Egyptians and from all who oppressed you. I drove out your enemies and gave you their land. I told you, 'I am the Lord your God. You must not worship the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you now live. ' But you have not listened to me."
Then the Angel of the Lord came and sat beneath the great tree at Ophrah, which belonged to Joash of the clan of Abiezer. Gideon son of Joash was threshing wheat at the bottom of the winepress to hide the grain from the Midianites. The angel of the Lord appeared to him and said, "Mighty hero, the Lord is with you!"
Gideon was quite apprehensive at first. Imagine being tucked away in your laundry room, working away at your daily "mundane" tasks and then all of a sudden; a call to battle! It seems impossible doesn't it?? Or atleast you may wonder if you are hearing that call and is it really for you??
Yet, God, chipped away at Gideon, he chipped away at the people he placed in line to help and from the looks of things, it would not end well, yet...spoiler alert... they had a victory! Full story can be found in the book of Judges 6-8.
This is a big accomplishment and yes, Gideon did let it go to his head a little bit, but ultimately, God's work was done.
Where does this leave us?
I will tell you where it left me.
I've wrestled with the questions :
"Am I fulfilling God's will as He's calling me to do, or am I putting my own spin on what I think I hear?"
"Am I doing what I do, to give God all of the glory, or am I doing what I do for accolades?"
These are not easy questions. My hope is that God gets all of the glory all of the time, but I am human and I know that even if I think God is getting all of the glory, there has to be a glimmer of pride growing deep down and I want to keep a handle on it. So I wrestle.
The way the study was outlined is truly brilliant. We learned facts about Gideon. Relate able facts. As we moved through, I could put myself in Gideon's "sandals" (as the author
, Priscilla words it). I also was able to look more deeply at the idols I carry in my life. I can honestly say I haven't built alters like the Israelites did, but I certainly have smaller scale idols. We all do and they put a wedge between our hearts and God's Will. Honestly, it's good to look at what's holding you captive and putting distance between you and God and then look at it and tear it down.
"Your weakness. God's STRENGTH" is really highlighted as we looked at the tools God gave Gideon to fight the Midianites and the small size of his army, in comparison with the opposing team. Do you ever feel that way? Like the tools you have just don't measure up? Does it discourage you? Do you trust God to work with whatever you have? I dance between the two on a fairly regular basis. It's good to have light brought to the facts in our days. Once we are aware of what we are working with, God is free in our lives to do what He does best!
I had a fantastic revelation yesterday when I finished the Gideon study and then it was solidified in church. I love when the pieces fall together and in true fashion of the purpose of this blog, I will share with you what that revelation was.
The Gideon study uses hashtags at the end of each day. Sort of a summary of what you learned in a hashtag. My hashtags yesterday were:
#God will (is) demonstrate His Strength THROUGH ME (Because He is IN ME)
#convertGoodIntentionsintoObedientActions.
This study gave me confidence in KNOWING God is IN ME and will work THROUGH ME to shine His light upon the world.
Do you ever wonder if what you have in you is enough to accomplish what you are being asked to do? I find that to be a road block for me sometimes. I know God is leading me, yet I don't yet have the confidence to believe He will carry me all the way through sometimes. It's this tangible surrender from control to freedom. So it's a good struggle, but I needed confirmation that God is already IN me, and this study broke that chain for me. If you know Christ and have given your life to Him, He LIVES IN YOU. It's true. Scripture backs it up, we have to keep reading and believing truth and then it just clicks one day. One regular, unassuming, mundane day, it clicks.
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