Poetic truth

Bless the Lord!
    He forgives
    He heals
    He redeems
    He crowns you with steadfast love & mercy
    He satisfies
    He renews
    He is righteous
                and works justice for the oppressed
    He is merciful
    He is gracious
    He will not hold His anger forever
    He is compassionate
    He remembers we are dust and sinful
    He flourishes
    Remember His commandments
    He is established in Heaven and on Earth
    Bless Him; fear Him
    He is everlasting

Reading Psalm 103 this morning; I was reminded of these powerful truths. We live in a deceitful world, parading our humanness with pride, this is no surprise to God.

He consistently presses in to each one of us and patiently waits on our ignorance.

Some of us (like myself) He waits longer, abundant patience and love, teaching and molding through correction, until we finally see.
Wisdom is earned as your eyes open to truth, knowledge flows when you seek truth. It’s everlasting and unchanging.

More truth relating to this topic can be found in Ephesians 2:1-10:

“And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”

Ephesians 2:1-10 ESV

https://www.bible.com/59/eph.2.1-10.esv

Internal prejudice

I try to get out, to be around people.

Have you ever noticed how hard it is to live IN the world, but not be OF the world?

A daily battle. Facing long standing beliefs as they crumble all around you.

Local atmospheres are made up of diverse communities with eclectic interests, it's natural to begin to judge what's around you. Based on things you would do, and things you would not do.

As I spend more time with people, their stories come out. It's an honor to listen. Absorb the life they've lived up to this point. Every story reveals seasons of brokenness (which is normal) and stages of restoration, and most importantly, the endurance they've come out with or are still working through.

It's precious to be trusted with details they've perhaps held dear to them, an act of self preservation from the pain life sometimes causes.

I have stories as well. Things from the past that I've done, but would not do now.

Every day is a chance to grow. To grow in love, to grow in truth, to grow in knowledge.

Our world teaches us.

Our families and friends teach us.

But our Father still calls us to live not as the world lives. (Romans 12:2)

And also to love your neighbor as yourself. (Mark 12:31)

Which is interesting because the last time I checked, we don't choose our neighbors.

I will elaborate, we don't choose our neighbors, which means the command is comprehensive. Every situation. Every form of brokenness.

A little side confession. Something I'm not proud of.

I've had two very close loved ones tell me I've said things to them recently that made them feel bad about themselves.

I failed loving my neighbor. The two that told me their truth, they live under the same roof as me. My closest neighbors, ones I did choose, they informed me I was hurting them by my words, my beliefs about them.

Ouch. Truth that hurts; but is convicting and definitely motivates a change in how I speak to them.

My initial response was "no one can make you feel bad about yourself" which is true to an extent.

But, I did pause to think about how I'm presenting my words; perhaps they do need to be softened.

Perhaps my internal prejudice is a little harsh. A little (or a lot) overbearing, and not involving enough prayer and surrender.

I do judge, much to my dismay.  My prayer is to release that habit of thinking. It's not my role to judge another's action. It's a barrier between true, authentic friendship, one that is not welcome.

Not only am I judging others, but I'm judging myself. Which keeps me from being authentic with others. Yes, it's gotten better, Lord willing, I have a long way to go.

And then I remember;
Our Heavenly Father never fails at loving us. He is merciful and exemplifies grace and patience. And that is the model we can pray to follow. And it grows the more you seek, at a slow but steady pace and that's all anyone can really hope for. <3

Reactive responses vs. a pause

I spend a lot of time in thought and prayer about relationships.

Between mothering my children, working daily at my marriage and praying over the desire for deepening friendships in those lonely moments; I'm left with some pondering about how my actions/reactions affect my relationships.

"Blessed are the peacemakers" always rings in my mind in response to the pondering.
Yearning for peace can tend to lean into avoiding conflict sometimes, because we feel as though that is the only way to peace.

Which, may be true at times. But, it most likely won't grow your relationships, it will only grow resentment.

A PAUSE.

When in reaction to anything, what's your first instinct?

Is it to spew something spiteful back? Is it to retreat and not say what you want to say? Is it to go to frustration/hurt/anger? If your kids are asking you something, do you listen to them until they finish? (OOps! I don't sometimes) Do you say yes before giving it a time of pause? Do you say no and then rethink your answer?

James 1 describes this predicament well:

"Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has power to save your souls.
But don't just listen to God's word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don't obey, it is like glancing at your face in the mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don't forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.
If you claim to be religious but don't control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless. Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you."
 James 1:19-27 (NLT)

That first few seconds (reaction time) can be a poignant time, one that if you are in the habit of reacting vs. pausing, can trip your relationships up a bit.

I know it has for me, and since I'm a human, it will in the future as well.

Something I've noticed though is, I have a silent expectation that I want instant responses from the people I interact with.

Not only am I reactive a lot of the time, but I'm also expecting others to be reactive.

The fruit of the spirit that I struggle with is patience. Being a person who's impulsive, active, lively, passionate, those are not fruits, they are bad habits I've formed along the way. With good intentions.

A good intention, can lead to good habits, if you pause. Just take a breath, pray, ponder for a minute or two. Find that sweet spot of making a decision based on listening first and then wrap your head around the conclusion. Try to see the other perspective, ask a few questions, steadily move to your response, which will no longer be a reaction. 

Let's pray:

Father, our go to responses are in us, but they are mold-able in You. If your desire is silence, Lord help me to be silent. If your desire is action, Lord let me act. Every day, I pray I can be a better version of myself, the version YOU have created. Help me to settle in to myself, all that you created me to be, and help me to have self control and patience when in fellowship with others. Relationships are a special gift, and I want to appreciate each individual that you have placed in my life. Help each relationship in my life reach it's full potential. In Jesus name, Amen

Tested by fire and testimony

I set out this morning to learn about Amos.

Let's start with the basics (as taught by my trusty Life Application Study Bible)

Purpose:
To pronounce God's judgement upon Israel for it's complacency, idolatry, oppression of the poor.

(Sound familiar?)

Amos, "Man of God" was a humble shepherd with a fiery, fearless and honest personality. I love this! I see myself in this description, yearning (and being taught) to be humble, but Amos doesn't lose that part of him that serves who he was created to be by God himself! I often am hard on myself for being "fiery and honest". I continually pray and strive to be more fearless. And Amos opens my eyes to the fact that you can confidently BE who you are, while being shaped by the Lord into a more humble, patient, selfless person.

As I read through Amos 1 there was a theme. "I will not revoke punishment." "I will send fire." "The strongholds will be devoured."

WOW. WOW. WOW.

Fire test. Have you ever experienced one? Used as punishment, but I'd like to see it as an "eye opener" and a hot invitation to seek the LORD and make things right with Him.

I've experienced a fire test. It was life changing. Faith shaking and it was scary to experience; but I am incredibly grateful for this time in my life.

It happened a few years ago. I've talked about it (It's a part of my testimony) so to summarize; Cody our youngest was 5 months old when my husband Al, suddenly was called to receive his third kidney transplant. Al's recovery was tremendously difficult and through anxious habits, I had isolated my heart to think I could do all things in my own strength. Yes, you read that right. I was not surrendering to God's will at the time and was not trusting Him. I didn't know how to ask for help, so I learned the hard way. He put me through fire, but I knew well enough to seek Him and CLING TO HIM and hold on for dear life. And, I was OK. He was so faithful, He didn't forsake me. He PROMISED me that He would carry me, I just had to keep my eyes on Him. And so I did. And my stronghold of anxiety was broken. Do I still carry some habits of anxiety? Yes, these habits were thirty years in the making, but God has continually broken those habits as I've brought them to Him and I maintain He is good. His punishment is NOT meant to take you down, it is meant to build your  eyes up to Him and only Him.

I will leave you with Psalm 90, which was written by Moses. I encourage you if you have your Bible to open it and read it from your own book, but if your Bible is unavailable, I am writing it out below from the ESV Bible.

From Everlasting to Everlasting
Psalm 90 A prayer of Moses, the man of God.
Lord, you have been our dwelling place in all generations.

Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever you had formed the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God.
You return man to dust and you say, "Return, O children of man!" For a thousand years in your sight are but as yesterday when it is past, or as a watch in the night.
You sweep them away as with a flood; they are like a dream,
like grass that is renewed in the morning:
in the morning it flourishes and is renewed;
in the evening it fades and withers.
For we are brought to an end by your anger;
by your wrath we are dismayed.
You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence.
For all our days pass away under your wrath; we bring our years to an end like a sigh.
The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty;
yet their span is but toil and trouble; they are soon gone, and we fly away.
Who considers the power of your anger, and your wrath according to the fear of you?
So teach us to number our days
that we may get a heart of wisdom.
Return, O LORD! How long?
Have pity on your servants!
Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love,
that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.
Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, and for as many years as we have seen evil.
Let your work be shown to your servants, and your glorious power to their children.
Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us,
and establish the work of our hands upon us;
yes, establish the work of our hands!